Where I Truly Belong
by Vannessa321
Summary: <html><head></head>Bella Swan marries her love Edward Cullen after he promises to make her a vampire like him. But, will she change her mind after new or forgotten feelings for her best friend Jacob. Warning: Lemons. ;</html>
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story, they are strictly the property of the original Twilight author, Stephenie Meyer.**

Bella's POV

He was lying in my bed, skin warm like the blazing sun. I knew it was wrong. I knew I should've turned and left but his pull was too strong. I fell quickly into him, into his hard, muscular body. His warmth... "What are you doing?" I asked confused. Utterly confused. "Shhhhh…" A soft whisper escaped his mouth as his burning hot finger pressed gently to my lips, sliding down from my lips to my neck, my chest, the rest of my now naked body, the heat of his touch emphasized by my ice cold skin. He forcefully pulled me towards him, kissing my neck, his shallow breath blowing against my ear. He tilted his head towards my mouth and leaned in towards my waiting lips. It was wrong, so wrong, but I wanted Jacob so badly in this moment. Closer, closer he got until I could feel the heat radiating off his lips. It would've felt as though my lips were on fire if the rest of my body hadn't been burning with desire. He prepared to lean in further, I closed my eyes in anticipation.

I was woken.

Woken by my darling Edward. "Bella, bella, are you okay my love? It's been so long since you've dreamt." Sudden worry ran through my body. Did he hear? Did he hear me longing for…Jacob…after I had promised to love him and him only for forever? What is wrong with me…I began to think it was just a weird dream, but the rush of butterflies in my stomach was hard to ignore. The butterflies I felt long ago when Jacob used to touch me. When I wanted him. When I was in love with him. I got up and ran with lightning speed out of the room, which was surprising because I wasn't yet a vampire. I wasn't sure about ever being one anymore.

It had been two days since we had gotten back to Forks from our honeymoon. Two days since I had seen Jacob. Things were icy at first, but he gradually warmed to me, seeing as I was still human. Still the Bella he loved so much. We sat in his garage, talking like the old days. This didn't bother Edward, but I'm starting to think it should've…no, no! I love Edward. Edward Cullen. There is no one else. No room for any other. I promised Jake…Jacob that I would come see him today, but I don't know if I should. I'm being silly. I know I won't do anything wrong, it was just a dream, for goodness sake. A beautiful dream…

I met Edward at the door as I prepared to leave. "Bella, love, where are you going? What was wrong earlier?" He spoke so calmly. "Oh uhh, it was nothing really. You know, nightmares." At this point I was really glad he couldn't read my thoughts, yet it also made my heart wrench with guilt. Should I tell him? No, that would make it a thing. It isn't a thing. It's a nothing. "I'm going to see Jake, we're just going to hang around La Push for a bit, maybe go to the beach. Nothing special. I'll be back before you know it." I said, shooting him a forced smile. His brow furrowed looking somewhat worried. "Be careful…he's easily upset these days, I don't want you to-" "Edward" I said interrupting "I'll be fine. Really."

I jumped in my rusty old truck. She was old but still sputtered along. Jacob had fixed her up for me, time and time again. I suppose me and my truck have that in common. We go to Jake broken, almost beyond repair, and he fixes us. Makes us function again, then returns us to the person we belong this. I felt a horrible lurching in my stomach. I had realised just how unfair I had been to Jake. I refused to use the car Edward had gotten me when I went into La Push. I knew what the werewolves would think of that. I thought it might upset Jake, thinking I chose Edward just because he could buy me things Jacob couldn't afford. But it wasn't like that. Not at all. As I drove, I felt myself become more anxious. "Bella, relax" I told myself "You're just friends. Good friends. Best friends. You'd never do anything to destroy that. Not again. Just relax." I was talking to myself now, trying to rationalise my dream, the butterflies in my stomach, why the hell I was going to Jake's, but the more I thought about it, the faster I drove. The more eager I was to get there and see that nothing was wrong with me. That I could control myself and that it was just a stupid. Flipping. Dream. Yes, I would be fine.

He was there in the driveway waiting for me, smiling that gorgeous Jacob smile…oh God. I got out of the car before I could think about it further. He grabbed me and literally swept me off my feet into a big, warm embrace. Hot just like my dream…I stayed suspended in the air with my arms around his enormous, rock hard body, breathing in his wonderful scent. The smell of the beach and the pine trees, rain…a mixture of all these elements into a unique smell that could only belong to Jacob. I felt his arms loosen around me as he brought me back down to the ground. "We're going to the beach today, no complaining!" He smiled again, pulling me in toe.

It was freezing down on the beach. We had stumbled around for hours, watching he waves, talking, laughing…just like old times. "So, how's school going?" I asked, dumbly. School? After everything we've been through I could only think of school? It was good in a way. It reminded me that he was a kid. "Still on break." He said, not noticing the stupidity of my question. "Ahh. How's everything with the pack?" "Good actually. I think Leah is coping a bit better now that she has someone who…understands what she's been feeling." I opened my mouth to ask who her new friend was, and I realised. It was Jacob. He understood because of me. "Oh. Are you and Leah-" "No." He snapped before I could finish asking my question. He was single, and I found this new information strangely soothing. "I-I'm sorry for prying Jacob, It's really none of my business." He smiled, looking at his feet. "S'okay Bells, we're friends. Aren't we…?" "Of course!" I said, shocked that he needed to ask.

We continued to wander slowly along the beach. It took me a while to notice that we were holding hands, and I was snuggled into the side of him. I immediately flinched and went to pull my hand away. I was shocked when it didn't follow my body as I moved to an appropriate distance away from Jacob. He was still holding my hand. Noticing me pulling away, he pulled me back in close, this time facing him. He stared into my eyes with intensity as I couldn't help but do the same. His smouldering, almost black eyes were powerful yet so warm…I couldn't look away. "Bella…" He leaned down to me, brushing my face gently with his free hand. "I've missed you." He kissed my cheek softly and released my hand from his firm grip. "Jacob…" I said, cautioning him. "What? I'm not allowed to miss my best friend…?" He asked looking a little hurt, his eyes falling to the ground. "No, no! That's not what I meant!" He was chuckling quietly to himself now. "Jacob! That's not fair." I said, mad at him for guilting me. I don't know if I was mad at him for touching me like that, or for now kissing me…

"I gotta go Bells…" He said looking angrily over my head. Before I could even reply he was running off into the woods. "Bella darling…" I heard, softly behind me. It was Edward. "Edward, what are you doing here…?" "You told me you'd be back before nightfall. When you weren't I began to worry. I had to come and find you and see you were okay." Edward was always worried about me. I loved him, it irritated me. I never had privacy. Just some time alone when he wasn't constantly quizzing me, needing to know my thoughts because they were the only ones he couldn't already see. I wasn't immortal like him, I could be hurt, and I was clumsy so I got hurt pretty often. But I could handle this. And I could handle being out after dark. I loved him, but it was sometimes too much. I told him I was going to drive my truck home alone. I didn't want to be with him for a while.


	2. Chapter 2

We had a family dinner at home tonight, which was odd considering I was the only one who ate. Edward looked pained, hurt by the way I had avoided him today. I sat with him closely, and squeezed his hand gently as it rested on his thigh. It was a nice evening, everyone talking and laughing. That was until Emmett made a joke about how I would eventually stop blushing at the crudeness of his jokes once I was an immortal. There it was. The indefinite. I was going to need to become a vampire soon and I wasn't ready. Wasn't ready to give up my life. Give up my Jacob. Jacob. I couldn't breathe. I felt the life being sucked out of me at the idea of the life literally being sucked out of me. I didn't like it. I had to get out. I wasn't ready. It wasn't time. Not now. Not anytime soon. Not…ever. I ran, I ran out of the house and kept running. I could hear them call out after me but it didn't matter. I didn't care. I ran into the woods as far as my small legs would carry me. I collapsed in the middle of a clearing gasping for air. Trying to keep myself breathing. Keep myself alive. I couldn't get enough air in. I struggled for more and more.

Warmth. All around me. Comforting and safe. I could breathe now. It was easy. I was calm. I opened my eyes and looked around me. There I was on a tattered old sofa sitting in a small yet cosy living room with warmth around me. Jacob. I turned my head to see him looking at me with worry as he held my back close to his chest. "Bella, what the hell were you doing in the woods alone? It's so dangerous. There could be vamp-" I turned and hugged him tightly before he could finish the last word, relishing in the warmth of his body pressed against my chest. Like a warm blanket. A security blanket of sorts. "Bella…what happened?" He said as he stroked my hair. "Nothing, I'm fine. I just…wanted to take a breather…" I said, shifting uncomfortably in his arms. All of the sudden the back door slammed open and she was in front of us in an instant. "Get your disgusting hands off her, mutt." It was Rosalie. "Who invited you in, Blondie?" Jake snapped back "Bella was obviously trying to get away from you lot." "Jake, please…" I pleaded, not wanting a fight to break out. Rosalie took my hand, attempting to lead me out of the house. Jake tore her arm away from mine and told her to back off. They got close, looking like they were going to rip each other apart in a second. "Guys!" I shouted, trying to break the tension. "Rosalie, let's go…" I said in a low, defeated whisper. I turned to Jacob with a look of apology but he wasn't buying it. "So what, they hurt you, but that's okay because Jacob will be here to rescue you. To fix you and send you back to…him. I'm tired of it Bella." Tears welled in my eyes as I knew his words were nothing but truth. I knew this days ago. I knew tonight when I left the Cullen's I was running somewhere. I had a destination, and it was Jacob. "Rosalie, tell Edward I'm sorry…but I need to stay here tonight…" I said, now feeling guilty for hurting Edward. "No you don't. You don't need to do me any favours. You can leave." He wasn't angry, he was hurt. I turned back to Rosalie. "Tell Edward…I want to stay here tonight." I wasn't sure if it was a lie or not. I felt torn between both of them again. Just like last year all over again. Rosalie glared at me, but left quietly

Jacob was sitting on the old tattered sofa, face in his hands. "Jake, please…you've got to understand." I said curling up next to him. "I understand. I understand perfectly. You can't have your cake and eat it too Bella. You made your choice." It felt like my heart was being squeezed as he spoke, my stomach being kicked repeatedly. It physically hurt me to know I was hurting him. "You chose him." "I chose wrong!" The words escaped my mouth before I even knew I was forming them. I sunk into the sofa trying not to look at Jacob. Trying to pretend he hadn't heard me, but I couldn't miss the glimmer of hope in his eyes. A look of determination. The fight was back on. For me and for my life.

Neither of us talked much after that. Jake took me into his bedroom and offered me one of his sweatshirts to use as a night gown. He turned around, like a gentleman, and I changed throwing my clothes on the floor. Hearing I was done, he turned around. He looked at me and smiled, obviously thinking something inappropriate. He pulled me too him in a tight hug and kissed my hair. "Goodnight beautiful" He said in a low soothing tone while releasing me from his grip. "Goodnight Jacob" I responded as I got into his bed. Him sleeping on the couch of course. I could still smell him in the sheets. The beautiful mix of pine, ocean and rain. He wasn't here but he was and suddenly I felt guilt rage through my body. How would Edward feel if he could see me right now? Lying in Jacob's bed, naked underneath Jacob's shirt…?

I didn't need to wonder as it turned out. I woke to the sound of Edward arguing with Jake out the front. Pleading to see me. I heard Jake growl as he phased and I ran out of the house screaming. "Stop! Both of you, stop!" Jacob calmed somewhat at the sound of me calling. Edward looked unimaginably hurt. It didn't occur to me why he seemed so broken. Like, I didn't expect him to be happy that I stayed but this was full on. Then I looked down. Half naked wearing only Jacob's shirt. I expected him to lunge at Jacob and bite his head off, literally. Or even me. But there was none of that. His shoulders sunk as he wandered away from me at a human pace. Walking. Walking home and away from me. Jacob ran inside still in wolf form. I stood there, confused as to what I would do next. What was I meant to do. Either way someone was going to get hurt. I looked up to see Jake heading out of the house, finishing pulling up his shorts. A big smug grin was plastered on his face as he approached me. "What the hell are you so smug about? Jacob, Edward is my husband! I shouldn't have come here." He ran to grab me before I could move. "Bella…I'm sorry…" "Just don't." I said, trudging off towards the woods. "Bella…" "Save it Jacob." "Bella, you're half naked…and you'll never make it on foot." I paused, realising he was right. "Get dressed, I'll drive you…"

The car ride was awkward and silent. I hated being mad at Jacob, but things were hard enough without him complicating them further. It was wrong to go see him. Edward is my husband. I stared blankly out of the window, watching the trees whizz by. Finally, the silence was broken. "Bella, you know I never intended for Edward to see you…in that state. I didn't know he was coming, and when I told him you were asleep in my room, he lost it. I don't blame him, but…I didn't mean for you to get in trouble. I don't want him to be mad because that means you suffer." He was sincere. I sighed long and hard. "I know…this is just a really messy situation and I…yeah, I don't know." He laughed a little at my confusion. "I know. I know…" His laughter stopped as he began to ask me a question "Just promise me something…" "What?" "Promise you'll wait to change…promise me you'll consider me an option…" I smiled weakly at him, unable to answer his question. I hugged him tight, and jumped out of the car, closing the door. _I promise_.

**Review please! Let me know what you guys want to happen next. :)**


	3. Chapter 3

"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry. You have to believe me, nothing happened! Please Edward, please…" I pleaded with him, cupping his ice cold hands in mine. "I know…" He said with a small smile. "I realised I shouldn't have gone over there. You wanted your space…" "Oh Edward, I'm so sorry for how I've acted lately…" I sat up on the bed and stared him in the eye. "I love you, Edward. I always have." He didn't respond. He kissed me softly, but I kissed him harder. I wanted him. He kissed back harder. So hard I fell back on the bed. I relaxed, surrendering to the passion. He tore off his shirt followed by mine, his cold hands travelled my body, pressing against me hard. Bruising me. The hardness of the kiss bruising my lips. It got more and more intense, his tooth scratching my bottom lip. Blood. A small amount, but enough to send him wild. I knew it was coming. I screamed loud hoping someone would come to help. Emmett was there before I could finish my muffled scream, pulling Edward off me. "Get out of here Bella! Go find Carlisle!" Emmett yelled he struggled to hold Edward down.

I ran down the hallway, terrified, cold, half-naked. I decided it wasn't a good idea to get near Jasper in my state. I ran into the bathroom. Carlisle was behind me in seconds, pulling me around to face him. "Bella, relax. You're safe." I flinched at his cool touch, remembering Edwards a few minutes ago. "I'm not going to hurt you Bella, please let me check it out." I looked up at him, trembling in fear. "It's just a scratch, you'll be fine. No venom seems to have gotten into the wound." I didn't care about the superficial wounds on my body, I cared about the fact that my husband did this to me. The man I loved. That hurt so much more. Carlisle dabbed the cut on my lip with a damp towel and covered me with a warm towel. After I was cleaned up, I went to Alice's wardrobe and packed a bag full of clothes. "Bella sweetheart, wait. Don't go driving in this state" Carlisle said, pleading with me. I would've laughed at his suggestion that I'd be safer here if I wasn't so shaken up. I brushed passed him, ignoring his plea. I jumped in my truck and sped off.

I didn't know where I was going. I just drove. I wanted to get far away from Edward. I knew he would feel terrible at this point, but I was too scared to console him. Scared of my own husband. My truck pulled into Jacob's driveway. I cut the engine and sat there. What was I doing here? I can't go running to Jacob now. Not after last time. I wasn't going to use him like this. I reversed out and headed towards Forks. Back to Charlie's for the night. I parked my truck about a block away from the house. It was late and I didn't want to wake Charlie. I didn't want him to see me in this state. I quietly fiddled with my keys and opened the door. I snuck quietly up to my old bedroom and sunk my head into my pillow, crying.

I had been crying for a good hour now, sobbing violently into my pillow. I wasn't safe in my home with my husband, and I couldn't use Jacob as my safety blanket anymore. It wasn't fair, even if he was all I wanted right now. Thud. I jumped, frightened by the loud noise of something landing on my bedroom floor. Edward's here. I tensed in fear, hiding deeper in the softness of my pillow. Warmth. A warm, large hand was placed gently on my back. "Hey, hey, hey, Bella, what's wrong" Jacob. It was Jacob. I sprung up out of the folds of my blankets, ignoring the pain of my bruises and hugged him tightly. He wrapped his arms around me tightly pulling me closer to him. Closer to the warmth. I winced in pain at the feeling of his hard muscular arms pressing into my bruised sides. He immediately released me. "Bella, what's wrong?" He lifted my shirt slightly and I swatted him away, embarrassed by the marks. He ignored my aversion to his actions and slid the shirt up gently again. His eyes looked like they were about to pop out of his head. His hand grew hotter against my skin as his breathing became more laboured. "Did he do this to you? Did he hurt you? I'll fucking kill him!" I have never heard Jacob so mad in my life. I tried to soothe him before he did something irrational. "Jake, calm down. It was an accident. Please, leave it." "Leave it! Oh no, I'm going to rip him apart." He headed towards the window, preparing to jump. "Jake please! I need you right now. Please don't go…" His body relaxed as he turned around to face me. "I'm here Bells. I'm not going anywhere, not ever." He wasn't just talking about tonight.

We lay in bed together all night, my head resting on Jacob's warm chest with his arms wrapped snuggly around my body. I have never felt safer in all my life. He told me stories from when he was a kid, about the time he and Quil first went cliff diving together and how Quil pushed him in when he wasn't brave enough to jump on his own. About having Christmas dinner with the Clearwaters and Leah getting furious every time she didn't get the bigger half of the cracker. About his mother… "My mother was a beautiful woman…really beautiful. She and I were really close." He chuckled a little bit. "Yeah, I was a Momma's boy, I know, She was just…fun. Never really took life seriously." "Do you miss her…?" "Every day." He responded, swallowing hard. I squeezed him tighter. "I wish I had of met her…" I said, honestly. "She would've liked you." "Really? Why?" "Because you like me. Common interests and such." He said with a cheeky grin. I punched him playfully in the chest. "Don't hurt yourself, Bells" He said, still smiling. He took my hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it gently. His lips were so soft and warm. Healing almost. Almost like they were capable of taking away my pain tonight. I pulled myself up slightly, face-to-face with Jacob and stared into his dark comforting eyes. I inched my face closer, entranced by his eyes looking deep into mine. I felt his hand slide up my body as he reached to my face. It made me warm all over, butterflies fluttering hard in my stomach. He gently pulled my face closer to his with his palm. Closer, closer, closer. "Bella…" He said, turning his head away. "You're upset." I looked at him, pulling his face back to face me. "No, I want you Jacob. I thought you wanted me…" "Oh Bella, I do. More than you could imagine" He said, almost irritated, "But I will not take advantage of you. I'll never do that." I settled back onto his chest, finding solace in the fact that he was considering how I would probably feel tomorrow if we did kiss. My eyes felt heavy now, I could hardly open them anymore.

Jacob stayed with me all night, stroking my hair and kissing my forehead while I slept. It didn't feel wrong. It felt right, so right. I relaxed and fell asleep in his warm, comforting arms, not considering how bad tomorrow might be when Jacob finds Edward, or what I was going to do when I saw Edward. I was here, with Jacob, and that's where I belonged. For now.

**Please review! I'd really like to know where I can improve with my plot. **


	4. Chapter 4

I woke up around midday. Jacob was still there, still stroking my hair. "Mornin' Bells" he said, smiling down at me. "Good morning…" I said cautiously, thinking about how I needed to get home. Needed to make Edward feel better about what he did to me. "Bella, I'm not letting you go back…not after this." He said firmly. He was right. I didn't feel safe and I probably wasn't.

I should stay with Jake. He was safe. I looked up at him and smiled softly. "I'll stay. But only if you get some rest." He tried to argue that he wasn't tired, but he couldn't keep his eyes open anymore. He drifted off as I left the room.

I went downstairs to the kitchen. Charlie had left for work and thankfully hadn't noticed me here. I caught a glimpse of my face in the mirror in the foyer and assessed the damage. It wasn't so bad, slightly bruised, my lip slightly swollen. I sighed as I remembered how my face got this way. I blinked away tears and rushed to the kitchen.

Bacon, eggs, sausages, toast. I was cooking up a big feast for Jacob, knowing how much he eats, I wouldn't get any of it. I wanted to thank him for being there for me last night. It was a small insignificant gesture, but it was all I could give him for now. I made a tray of food and carried it steadily up to my bedroom.

I nudged the door open with my knee, holding the heavy tray with both hands. Smash. I dropped the tray on the floor, ran down the stairs and down the block, jumping in my truck. Jacob had jumped out the window. I knew where he was going. To Edward.

"You stupid piece of junk" I slammed my foot on the accelerator, trying to get my truck to move as fast as possible. I knew I had very little time. I was pulling into the Cullen's driveway and speeding up to the house. Jacob was shaking violently screaming at Edward, his voice echoing through the trees.

"Jacob! Jacob stop!" Edward sat there, willingly accepting Jake's verbal attack and any physical one that was to come. Edward saw me. He gazed up at me with a deep, sorrowful look. He was sorry. So sorry. "Don't you dare even look at her, you filthy bloodsucker!" He screamed, growing increasingly angry.

"Bella, get out of here." He spat in a lower, less harsh tone. "Bella, I'm sorry. I'm beyond sorry." Sighed Edward. He got up to approach me, when Jacob slammed his heavy hand onto Edwards chest. "You take another step near her and I'll fucking kill you." "Good. It's what I deserve." Jacob was about to phase. About to rip Edward to pieces when I ran to him.

I slammed my body into his, crying into his chest. "Don't." I said, as loudly as I could through my sobs. "Please, for me, just don't" His body was on fire, burning with absolute rage. "I'm coming with you, just don't…" He relaxed. "Get in the truck, Bella." He said calmly. I followed his orders, turning back to look at Edward as the tears rolled down my cheek. Jacob climbed in the driver's sea and I turned back. "Just give me a second…please" I said as I walked back towards Edward, not giving Jake the opportunity to reply.

There I was, face-to-face with Edward for the first time since the…altercation. He couldn't even look at me, so pained by his actions that evening. "Bella, go with Jacob. He can keep you safe. I can't, evidently." "I'm not coming back anytime soon…I can't. I love you, Edward, but…I can't…" I wanted to kiss him. Give him some sort of reassurance that I still loved him, that I was coming back, but I couldn't.

Kissing Edward didn't feel right anymore. At least not right now. I jumped in my truck and drove away with Jacob. We went back to Charlie's in a hurry. I wanted to clean up the mess and any other trace of me there. We sat in the living room somewhat uncomfortable after we had finished. "That's it. I'm taking you back to my place." He grabbed my hand and pulled me out the door.

"I'm hungry" said Jacob shortly after my stomach grumbled. It was nice being with someone who needed to eat too. I felt less like a burden. It was about 5pm when we finally got back to his place. Perfect time for dinner. I should've known that I'd be unable to cook anything since the house was lived in by two males. Billy, however, wasn't home.

My dad had picked him up after he finished his shift so they could watch the game. We were alone. "Bells, I'm going to order us a couple of pizzas, is that okay?" "It's not a home cooked meal, but sure. We're eating off plates like civilised human beings though." He smiled. "Sure, sure."

I struggled to fit two slices into my stomach. Jacob had already consumed two pizzas and was now starting on mine. I watched him as he wolfed down slice after slice in awe. Although, truthfully, it had been a while since I sat and had dinner with a guy. Well, since one ate with me. When we finished off, we went to go wash our plates in the sink. I filled it full of water and detergent.

There were dishes piled up from last night here two. Typical men. I got to work, Jacob helping slightly. I watched as my big silver ring splashed in and out of the soapy water. "Maybe you should stay here for a while longer. Me and Billy could use a maid. And a chef I suppose" Said Jacob, teasingly. I splashed a handful of warm soapy water right in his face. "Oh that was a dumb move." He said, scooping a glass into the water and pouring the contents on my head.

We splashed each other repeatedly, laughing and teasing. My troubles slipping away, much like my wedding ring, right off my finger. Maybe it was all the slippery soap in the water, or maybe it was me, but it was off and I didn't really care to put it back on. The sink was empty now. Water everywhere, mostly on me. I was cold now. We paused for a minute, staring each other in the eye. Our faces close, maybe too close, but certainly getting closer. I was leaning up against the sink, unable to back away. It would be Jacob's fault really.

He pressed his burning body against me, the heat felt incredible. I could feel his heart pounding hard against my body, making mine do the same. Closer and closer. His warm hands met with my hips and slid slowly down my thighs. I trembled at the feel of his touch, wanting more and more. His hands slipped round to the back of my thighs, and he pulled me up with tremendous force, sitting me down on the counter. He shifted between my thighs. Closer. His lips brushed against mine, causing tingles to run up my legs and all over my body. The butterflies were back, this time more intense.

He reached behind me, keeping my gaze. Splash. He had poured yet another glass of water down the front of me. "Gotcha last!" He yelled. I slumped down on the sink, a little disappointed, but couldn't help but smile. "Here" said Jacob, handing me a towel and another of his sweat shirts. "Shower is just through there."

My shower was oddly therapeutic. I thought about Edward, how he left me, how he hurt me, how to be with him would cost me my life in some shape or form, and the quilt washed away. I felt no guilt in spending time with Jacob. He was a friend. My best friend.

I got out of the shower and put on the shirt. It wasn't as long as the other one, but it would do. I walked into the living room where Jake was watching TV. He looked up as he heard me enter, eyes bulging out of his head. "Oh uhh, Bella…you look hot…" He said, scrambling to form a sentence. I blushed uncontrollably, tugging the shirt down to cover more of my thighs. "Do you think you can get me a longer one?" "Nope." He said simply, smiling his cheeky smile. "Argh, fine" I said walking over to the couch. I was shivering, still damp from my shower.

"Come here" He said shaking his head at me. "I can't help it, I don't have the wolf gene." I snuggled into him closely. _God that's better._ I thought as I soaked up his warmth. He pulled my legs up onto his lap and began to rub my feet. "Mmmmm…" I let myself relax further into him, feeling completely at ease. He looked at me tensely, judging to see if I was okay with him touching me. His hands slid up my legs, my thighs, warming my whole body up. I sighed softly as his hands slid further up my body, my hips, my waist.

He lifted me and sat me on his lap facing him. He pulled the neck hole of the shirt to one side and began kissing up my shoulder towards my neck. I gasped as the touch of his hot lips sent bolts of electricity through my body. He continued up my neck, his hot breath tickling my skin. It felt amazing. I wanted more. I needed it.

I pulled his face up to mine and kissed him hard, passionately, forcefully. He kissed back harder, sliding his hands up the back of my shirt and pulling it off me. He lifted me off the couch with him and carried me back to his bedroom, laying me down on the bed.

**Review please? I'm trying to keep it interesting and write as often as possible for you guys. :)**


	5. Chapter 5

Jake hovered over me, his palms at my sides, holding him up above me. He planted soft kisses all over my chest, my neck, my shoulders and it felt good. Better than good. Incredible. But suddenly not right. "Jake…wait…" I whispered breathlessly to him. "What? What's wrong?" He said, gently stroking my face and kissing my cheek. "It's just…I've never…this is new to me…and I'm married…I shouldn't…"

My cheeks flamed red with embarrassment and guilt. He kissed both of my cheeks softly, only making them burn more. "You mean, you and Cullen didn't? You said, the honeymoon-" "We couldn't…" "Oh, so you wanted to with him…" "Jake, I want _you_ to make love to me. It's just…not now…" "It's okay, Bella. I don't want to pressure you into anything. I would never do that, you know this."

He wrapped me up in the blanket and kissed my forehead. "I'll leave you to sleep." "Jake, wait…" I said, pulling him back into bed. "Sleep with me…please…" "Of course."

I woke up in the morning, feeling guiltier that ever. I slipped out of Jacob's warm arms and pulled on a shirt. I headed to the kitchen and searched desperately for my ring on my hands and knees. I couldn't find it. It was gone. I stood up, frustrated and upset with myself. I turned and saw Jacob, standing in the doorway holding it. My ring. My symbol of my undying love for Edward no longer on my finger.

He placed it on the counter and walked away with such sadness in his eyes. He knew I regretted last night. He knew I would go back to Edward. I ran to the bathroom and got dressed in my clothes. I knocked on Jacob's bedroom door, but there was no answer. The door was locked. I had done it again. I used him in my time of need, and now I was going running back to Edward. It broke my heart, but my heart was broken either way.

I jumped in my truck and drove back home to Edward.

There he was, still on the front step where he was the last time I saw him. I honestly don't think he moved since then. He looked up, surprised to see me. I slid my ring back on my finger before I got out of my truck and I ran to him. Ran to be in his arms, to rid myself of the guilt of what I had done. He held me gently, like I was made of glass, and stroked my hair gently. "My Bella is home…" He whispered, pulling me in closer.

"Edward, I'm sorry." He pulled away from me, holding onto my arms in disbelief. "_You're_ sorry? _You_? Bella, _I'm_ sorry. What I did to you was beyond horrible. I understand if-" "Edward…we need to talk" We sat down on the steps, outside in the cold. I had forgotten what it was like to be cold. I had been with Jacob so much, in his warmth. "Edward…I'm not going to bother making excuses for my actions. It was wrong, and I know it was wrong." "Bella, you're free to leave whenever you like..." He said, stroking my hand. "No, my actions with Jacob…I kissed him, Edward. I don't know how it happened, but it did…I'm so sorry."

I could see on his face just how much pain my words had brought him and it only hurt me more. "I'll go if you want me to…" I stood up, preparing to leave when he clutched my hand weakly. "Bella…I don't want you to go…it's okay." I sat back down and fell into his arms sobbing, repeating my earlier apology.

It had been weeks since I heard from Jacob, and I don't know if this was a good thing or not. It was probably best that I keep my distance, but I couldn't stop thinking about him…thinking about how much I hurt him and it was breaking my heart. I tried to preoccupy my thoughts, mostly with Edward.

We were lying in our field, soaking in the rare sun. It wasn't often me and Edward got to lay out in daylight, but I enjoyed it. We were quiet and still. It was much different to how Jacob and I are together. _Were_ together. Me and Jake laughed and played around. With Edward it's always so serious, so intense. But then again, he is 110…I guess I liked that about him. He loved me so deeply, and I knew it. I loved him too, and I always would.

He ran his cool, smooth fingers through my soft curls as I leant into him, preparing to kiss him. "Bella…don't." "What, I can't even kiss you anymore?" "It's too dangerous" he said, kissing my cheek softly. I got up, tugging myself out of his arms defiantly. "I want to go home." I spat angrily.

When we got back to the house, I could see Alice pacing in the front yard looking more than a little concerned. Edward's face changed from disappointment quickly to Alice's, mimicking her fear. Something was up. Something bad. "Edward, what is it?" I questioned. He paused, obviously trying to think of a lie to not worry me. "The truth, please…" "The Volturi. They're coming to see if you're still human." I stopped breathing, feeling a horrible sickness spread through my stomach.

However this was handled I was likely to die, and I still wasn't ready. I collapsed on the floor, feeling overwhelmed by the news; Edward quickly pulling me up again. "Come inside, we need to discuss this as a family." Said Alice, halfway through the door before she finished.

We all sat around the table, Alice the first to speak. "They'll be here in 9 days. There is no use in running from the Volturi, they'll find you…you need to be changed, Bella." I looked suddenly to Edward waiting for his objection. He shot me an apologetic look. "Bella…Alice is…right." He struggled with the words, obviously not wanting it to be true as much as I did.

Jacob was all I could think of right now. Sure, we weren't friends right now, but I don't think we could ever be if I became like Edward…we also probably couldn't be friends if I was dead either…I was confused. I didn't want to die. Jacob sure as hell wouldn't want me, Edward might not love me if I was…different either. I wouldn't be me. And I wouldn't love him for at least a year or two. I would be alone. Crazed. Thirsting for blood. "I…understand." I did. My life was over.

Carlisle and Edward spent today planning out my change. When it would happen, and the most comfortable way in which to do it. I saw him struggle listening to Carlisle's instructions, but he knew it was the only way.

I thought I should live out my last 8 days as a human in style, eating as much as possible, going to the beach in the sun, but couldn't bring myself to leave my bed. It's a terrible thing, knowing you're going to die. I used to want this so much before. Before the honeymoon. Before I realised my feelings for Jacob at my wedding.

We agreed to delay it 2-3 years, but as time went by, I knew I didn't want it. I wanted a life. A life with Edward, but life nonetheless. I can't do this…I'm not ready to die…not ready to never see Jacob or Charlie or Renee again. My heart was torn between a life with Edward and actually being alive.

If I hadn't changed by their arrival, how would the Volturi react? They made a promise, no second chances. It would be my life….I also made a promise to Jacob. I promised I'd wait… I crept over to the study, pulling a pen and a piece of paper out of the top drawer of Carlisle's writing desk. I began to write to Jacob:

_11__th__ February, 2010_

_Jacob,_

_I know you're mad, and I know you don't want anything to do with me, but I'm sorry. So sorry, and you need to know that. They're coming for me now, and I no longer have a choice. I know I promised to wait, promised to keep you an option, but I am all out of options now. _

_Don't think for a second this is me choosing him, because it's not. It's me choosing to live…in some way. The date is set. 8 days from now, I won't be me anymore, and I wanted you to know why before I was unable to explain it to you. Before you'd see me as an enemy…_

_I can't express to you how sorry I am for everything. You have been nothing but the perfect friend to me, and no matter what, I will always hold you dear to my heart. I love you Jacob Black. More than I should, and more than you could ever understand. Please don't hold this against me._

_Love always,_

_Bella._

I wept over the letter, contemplating whether to take it to him now or not. I doubt he would even care at this point.

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	6. Chapter 6

3 more days had passed, 5 till I was to die. The letter was still sitting in the back of my wardrobe. I still hadn't heard from Jacob. Edward and the others were busy preparing for all possibilities related to the Volturi visit. I was alone, and still hadn't left the house. I decided to see Charlie today, spend as much time with him as I could.

I stuffed the letter into my pocket, not wanting anyone else to find it. I wasn't even sure if I wanted Jacob to find it, really. I headed down the long hallway, meeting Edward in the kitchen. "I'm just going to go see Charlie. You know, while I still can…" "Of course. Enjoy yourself, Bella." He kissed my head softly, and I headed out to my truck.

I considered driving somewhere else. Never returning home and running away. I knew they'd find me anyway. It was useless. Started my rusty old truck, and drove slowly out of the driveway.

"Bella! I feel like I haven't seen you in ages, kiddo!" Charlie hugged me tightly. It was good to be with someone upbeat for a change. We headed into the lounge room where I saw Billy sitting in his chair with a beer. He looked at me coldly. Things must be pretty bad with Jacob right now, and he knew it was my fault.

I averted my glance, trying not to look into his accusing eyes. We sat there uncomfortably for a while, talking nonsense about sports and general conversation subjects like the weather. I didn't care. I was happy to be with Charlie. Billy made it clear he wasn't comfortable with being there with me, and politely asked my dad to drive him home.

"Billy…wait." They both paused before the door and a lump rose in my throat. "C-can you please give this to…Jacob" I asked, apology flooding my eyes. He sighed and took the letter from my hand. I didn't have to decide whether to give it to Jacob anymore. I knew Billy would be contemplating that for me now.

They left and I waited. For my Dad to come home, maybe for Jacob to come too. To come see me for the very last time. Charlie came, but never Jacob.

2 more days passed, and no word from Jacob. I tried to convince myself Billy hadn't given him the letter, but I couldn't help but feel like Jacob was ignoring me. Why would he care after the way I treated him? I should've just left it alone.

I had stayed at Charlie's in this time, finding solace in his normality. Charlie wasn't worried like everyone else. Of course, he didn't know, but I tried not to remember that point. We had truly bonded in these past couple of days, which I knew was only going to make it harder when I had to say goodbye.

I talked to Renee too. We would talk for hours on the phone every night, her telling me all about Phil and her travels and Jacksonville. It was also nice, until she asked me to come spend the summer with her. With Edward. I knew I couldn't. Jacksonville was sunny and it wouldn't just be Edward who had to worry about sparkling. My blood-red eyes may cause some concern too.

My heart broke when she told me how much she was missing me. I missed her too, and I knew that would probably never change. I cried a lot, knowing what I would miss out on. I guess that was kind of living out a human part of me before it was gone. You can't cry when you're dead.

I hugged Charlie as tight as my small stature could manage and told him just how much he meant to me, and how much I loved him. "I love you too, Bells. Come see me next week sometime, won't you?" "Yeah…" I turned and headed to my truck before he could see my tears.

I leapt into Edward's waiting embrace, balling my eyes out. "Oh Edward, I can't do it. I can't say goodbye to everyone. I'm not ready!" I said it. I had said it so many times before, but never to Edward. It would have pleased him, if it were still an option and not a necessity.

"Oh Bella…I'm so sorry to have put you through this. It's all my fault. I wish I had of seen this earlier. I should never have gotten you in this position." "Are you saying you regret being with me?" I asked, tears flooding down my face. "In a way…" I was hurt by his words, but I guess I knew what he meant.

"Bella, come, you must rest." He pulled me towards our bedroom and tucked me into bed. Just relax and sleep. I'll go talk to Carlisle about any other options" He said, earnestly. I could tell he was hopeful too.

Another 2 days had passed. No other option discovered. Tomorrow was the day. The Volturi were coming and I was going to die. I went and sat by the beach in La Push, hoping to see Jacob one last time.

He wasn't here. He had probably gotten my letter by now. It was pointless. I went home. It was no use, and I had to prepare for the…transformation.

We sat around the living room, Jasper speaking this time. He was the one with the most experience with…newborns. This wasn't just for my benefit, but for everyone's. "Now Bella, when you…come out of the transformation, you'll feel strange. You'll notice heightened senses, especially eye-sight, hearing and smell. It will probably overwhelm you, so remember to take it easy."

He rambled on and on, but I wasn't listening. As far as I was concerned, it didn't matter. To me and others I cared about, I would be dead. "Carlisle will give you some morphine before it begins, hopefully to help numb the pain." Edwards hand tightened around mine as Jasper mentioned the word pain. He truly knew how greatly I would suffer.

"Edward will inject his venom directly into your heart to speed the process up, make it as least painful as possible." "I understand. I think I just want to go to sleep, this is a lot to take in."

I got up and stumbled to my bedroom slowly and collapsed into my pillow. This would be my last sleep.

I wanted to fall deep into slumber, no longer in reality, but in my dreams. My dreams of being with Jacob. I tossed and turned all night, unable to get to sleep. A part of me knew the quicker I got to sleep, the quicker it would all happen.

It was 10am. Time to begin, much before the Volturi arrived in the afternoon as Alice had predicted. I attempted to put on a brave face for Edward. To ease his guilt about ending my life. It was he who would take it from me. I was calm on the surface, but on the inside I was begging for Jacob. I wanted him to come and take me away from all of this. I knew he wasn't going to, but I could hope.

"Bella, lie down and relax." Carlisle helped me up onto the hospital bed and prepared a morphine drip. It seeped slowly into my body, making me feel light and at ease. Maybe this was a good idea…my whole body relaxed, and I could hardly feel anything. I could hardly keep my eyes open.

"Bella!" It was Jacob, my Jacob was here. I was almost certainly hallucinating, but it didn't matter. I felt at ease hearing his voice before everything slipped into silence.

**Jacob's POV**

"Oh I forgot about this. Bella asked me to give you this letter a couple of days ago." Bella…she hadn't forgotten about me. Billy handed me a crumpled note and I sat at the kitchen table, reading it immediately.

_ 11__th__ February, 2010_

_Jacob, _

_I know you're mad, and I know you don't want anything to do with me, but I'm sorry. So sorry, and you need to know that. They're coming for me now, and I no longer have a choice. I know I promised to wait, promised to keep you an option, but I am all out of options now. _

_Don't think for a second this is me choosing him, because it's not. It's me choosing to live…in some way. The date is set. 8 days from now, I won't be me anymore, and I wanted you to know why before I was unable to explain it to you. Before you'd see me as an enemy…_

_I can't express to you how sorry I am for everything. You have been nothing but the perfect friend to me, and no matter what, I will always hold you dear to my heart. I love you Jacob Black. More than I should, and more than you could ever understand. Please don't hold this against me._

_Love always,_

_Bella._

That's today…I dropped the letter to the floor, and ran out the door. I had to stop her. I would kill every last one of them before I let them take Bella's life. Take her away from me. I phased as I ran through the woods, calling the pack to follow me while they were out hunting. A war was coming, and the stakes were much too high for me to lose.

**I apologise for any typos or errors, I'm trying to upload quickly as I know how frustrating it is waiting for new chapters of a story to be uploaded lol. Please give it a read, and let me know what you guys think. :)**


	7. Chapter 7

I ran through the woods with break-neck speed, ducking and weaving through the dense trees as I went. I couldn't wait for the pack to meet me. I didn't know how much time I had left and there was no way I was taking my chances on this one.

My paws ached from the force of the ground slamming into them as I drove myself forward. I was close. Hold on Bella. Just a few more minutes please…

I ran up the Cullen's driveway faster than I had run through the forest, the lack of trees easing my route. I scrambled up the staircase, blasting through the door. I phased back into my human form so I could easily get through the house.

I fled to where the stench was coming from. The stench of vampires. I prayed that I wouldn't walk in and see Bella one of them. "Bella!" I called as I entered the room. There she lay, looking weak but still pink and flush. She was still my Bella.

"Get away from her, all of you!" I shouted, watching them glare and hiss at me. The doctor one approached me, putting his filthy bloodsucker hand on my shoulder. He had mended me in the past after he fight with the newborns. I even liked him a little, but not anymore. Not after he was trying to kill the woman I love.

"Jacob, please. We have no other choice." "Yes you do. You could make the same choice I'm going to. You can fight." The big one chuckled at my suggestion. "You can't fight the Volturi. They have amazing numbers and powers that will give them the upper edge. They will kill you." "Well I guess I'm going to die trying to save her then."

Bella was lying there, so vulnerable. I walked to her, clutching her hand in mine. "I'm going to keep you alive, Bella, I promise you." Edward was beside me in seconds. "Don't. Touch. Her." I glared at him, being so protective of her now, but not willing to protect her when it came to losing her life. "I'm here to save her." I said eyeing him angrily.

All of the sudden the tension was broken by a shriek coming from the other side of the room. It was the pixie one. "They're almost here. They came quicker than I thought. I don't understand…" "Alice!" shouted Edward as he stomped towards her. "We don't have the chance to save her now!" "Edward, this isn't Alice's fault. Keep your focus on Bella right now." Said the doctor, pulling him away. I phased back, sensing the oncoming threat.

A small, blonde girl with crimson red eyes stepped into the door way, removing a hood that was framing her small face. "When did you all get a dog?" She said, glaring at me. That was it. I leapt where I stood and lunged right for the bitch's throat. She stood there staring at me, not even flinching.

As I was in the air, hurtling towards her, my entire body ripped with excruciating pain. Agonising and unbearable, I fell to the ground, crashing through the floorboards. "Jacob!" I heard Bella shouting after me. She was awake. I whimpered, writhing in the horrible pain. "Jane, enough." I heard, coming from the doorway. I pale, crimson-eyed man with long dark hair stepped through the doorway, and the pain suddenly left my body. I collapsed further into the floor, relaxing my formerly tensed form.

"Aro, what brings you to our home?" asked the doctor, knowing already too well. "Carlisle, my good friend, I told you we would return to check on our friend Bella." I heard growling outside. It was the pack. "We were just about to comply with your demands." He looked unforgiving, like it was almost too late.

_Sam, sneak the boys in here. Send them through the side door and attack from behind. You head in the front door and stand beside me. _I communicated to Sam, knowing that she would die if I didn't do something. Our only hope was an ambush. A surprise attack. It's obviously very hard to surprise vampires, but I was hoping the others would take their attention before me and Sam could attack. Sam entered, growling as he sauntered to my side.

The blonde girl looked amused, thinking we had no chance of winning, and maybe she was right. "Now Carlisle, we're not here for a fight. We're here to uphold the law." "I assure you, we aren't planning a fight. We are fully intending to obey your rules." _Okay, Jake. We're in the kitchen ready to go_. It was on. "I'm afraid it's simply too late. Jane, go ahead" He urged her towards Bella. There was no way I was letting that happen.

_Now! _I shouted telepathically to the boys as the lunged at Jane. She turned to focus her power on them as I leapt at her from behind. I pushed her to the ground, disorienting her in a sea of wolves and mauling teeth. Aro grabbed me immediately and threw me into a cabinet of crystal, shards of glass seeping into my body all over. I jumped to my feet and flew towards him; latching onto his leg and ripped it clean off, now nothing more than an ice cube lying on the floor. I lunged back to Jane, but the boys had finished her off. She was in pieces on the floor. I turned back to Aro who was screaming at the pain of losing his leg. He focused, and almost soared towards me. I was ready for him. He couldn't hurt me like Jane could.

"Stop! Now!" it was the pixie again. Aro turned to her, me keeping my gaze closely on him not trusting the bloodsucker for a second. She moved closer to Aro, a pleading expression in her eye. "Take me. I'll come with you, just spare Bella." The blonde one grabbed her hand, pulling her back and clearly trying to stop her. She shook him free. "I'll join you, just please let her go. You know she's not a threat Aro." His eyes widened like he was stalking prey, finding his next victim. "Remarkable! You know I'd be more than happy to have you Alice." The Cullen's looked at her with sorrow, pleading her not to do this with their eyes. I think deep down they knew she would blame herself if Bella died. They weren't happy, but they allowed it.

I backed towards Bella, still distrusting him. "I think that's a more than fair proposition. I'll leave you here to assort your affairs out before you join me. No longer than a week please, Alice. I look forward to your arrival." He put himself back together. "It's a pity about Jane though." He said glancing over to her, not particularly caring that she was beyond repair. He ran out of the house at incredible speed. I followed shortly behind him, phasing in the woods and putting on a spare pair of shorts I kept in there.

**Bella's POV**

"Jacob! Where is he going?" I shouted trying to rip the IV from my arm and jump out after him. "Bella, he's phasing. He's coming back, relax." I looked up at Edward, complete disappointment flooding my face. Jacob was prepared to fight for me. To give up his life for mine, and Edward was more than prepared to let me die. I don't think he wanted me to, but he wasn't stopping it.

Jacob entered through the door and headed towards me. I jumped out of bed and ran into his arms, pressing my face into his warm chest. "Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you." I squeezed him tightly as he kissed my hair. I didn't care that the Cullen's were watching us and I didn't care how it would make Edward feel. I was never letting my best friend slip away again.

**Please Review! Next chapter to be up within the hour. Thanks to Megan39 for her encouraging reviews! This one was for you! :)**


	8. Chapter 8

We were alone on the beach at La Push. The setting sun gave Jake's skin a warm glow. He was so gorgeous. I looked at him with complete adoration. He had saved my life. He looked deep into my eyes, so grateful I was alive. So in love with me.

He looked like he was about to lean in and kiss me. I hugged him closely, stopping him before he could. He shifted back from me and sighed disappointedly. "Bella, there is a reason you keep running back to me. You feel it too. You're in love with me, Bella, and we both know it. Why do you worry so much about being with me and hurting _his_ feelings?" I was shocked at the suddenness of his outburst and was too quick to respond."Because I know who I'll be with in the end!" I blurted the words out, instantly regretting them.

I turned away, not wanting to see his reaction. He pulled me back towards him. "Bella, I'm in love with you. I always have been. I can make you happy, you know that. I have a soul and a heart…and I've let you break it over and over again. I will never give up on us, Bella. No matter how much you hurt me."

"I know…" I looked up into his big dark eyes, heavy with his emotion. "I've imprinted Bella. On you. I can't leave you now, even if I wanted to. I can't stand to be away from you. It kills me, Bella." "So this is a wolf thing…?" I asked, somewhat hurt. He sighed angrily before he cooled and stared back into my eyes. "Bella, my love for you goes beyond that. It's not only instinct. I was madly in love with you long before I was a wolf. Before I even knew what imprinting was. From the second I saw you, I was in love with you. He grabbed my hands and pulled them to his warm, smooth chest.

His voice lowered to a soft, husky whisper as he spoke. "Choose me, Bella. I can't promise you forever, but I can promise I will love you till the day I die. Choose me..." I could feel the pounding of his heart under his chest, beating for me. He was laying it all on the line now. I leaned in, pressing my body to his. He slid his hands down my back, leaning his face towards me, his lips brushing softly against mine. I wanted him so badly.

His hand slid gently up my body as he brushed my hair off my face, his warm breath tickling my lips. "Bella…choose." "You. I choose you. I love you Jacob Black. I always have." He smiled brightly at me, love and adoration in his eyes. It was Jacob. Jacob now and forever.

"In that case…" He pulled me even closer to his body, his face meeting with mine again. Our lips were touching again, and I was sure this was what I wanted now. He kissed me, slowly and passionately. I kissed him back, harder, nibbling and sucking on his lower lip. I felt his warm tongue brush against my lips, before he slid it in my mouth, warm and soft as it massaged mine. It got more and more heated, more and more passionate.

I could feel his warmth, his love in every movement of his lips. His body. I gasped loudly as Jacob's warm hands slid down my waist to my behind, gripping it tightly, forcing me closer to his body. His glorious body. He felt solid against me in more ways than one. I could feel his erection pressed against me. I moaned, longing for him to be inside me. "Jacob…I want you…" I whispered, breathlessly to him. That was all it took. He lifted me up into his arms and carried me back to his place, our lips never parting.

We burst in the door, wasting no time. I never knew kissing Jake would feel so good. I didn't feel guilty, it felt right. I felt safe, completely surrendering to his affection. He placed me down on the bed, ripping my shirt of off my body. He stared at my body in awe. He sat behind me with my back pressed against his burning chest, pulling my hair back off my face and shoulders, kissing and nibbling roughly all over my collar bone, my chest, my neck, my shoulders…oh God it felt good.

My whole body flooded with warmth, hotter with each touch. His smell, his touch, completely intoxicating. I was lost in the moment, letting Jake have complete control over my body.

His hands rubbed up my waist, finding my breasts. His hot hands remained steady on them rubbing them, the lace rubbing roughly against my nipples, driving me insane. He unclasped my bra in one swift movement, throwing it to the floor. He flipped me on my back. He began kissing my breasts all over, rolling his tongue across my nipples firmly. I gasped and moaned in pleasure. "Make love to me Jake, I'm yours…" I sighed as my whole body tingled in pleasure. He kissed slowly down from my breasts to my abdomen, getting closer and closer to my pants. He unzipped them and pulled them off me in seconds, rubbing my legs and looking at them with adoration. He thought every inch of me was beautiful.

He grabbed my leg and kissed my left ankle, kissing and nibbling his way up my calf to my thigh. He ran his tongue up my thigh, as far as he could go. I was screaming on the inside, begging for him to continue between my thighs. He hovered for a second, but moved to my right leg, licking, kissing and nibbling his way down my ankle. He was trying to tease me, and it was working. "Oh Jacob…" I sighed in both frustration and complete and utter pleasure. He smirked, sliding his hands back up my legs. He placed his fingertips on the outer fabric of my underwear, and pressed down firmly. I gasped, shocked at the intense heat of his skin, and also how fucking amazing it felt. He slid his fingers up and down firmly, massaging my clit through my underwear while kissing my breasts once more. I moaned his name, over and over again, He was all I wanted. I wanted more. I wanted him inside me. "I'm yours, Jacob Black…completely." He wasn't the friendly and shy boy I met years ago. He was a man. My man. "Completely?" He asked, smugly, pressing down firmer as he rubbed his fingers in circles. "Oh God, yes…Completely…"

He removed his pants and slid his unbelievably sexy body between my thighs, underwear to underwear. He pressed his erection into me. It was hot and hard and everything I wanted. He was torturing me, grinding into me through the fabric. "Jacob…" I was pleading with him. I felt dizzy. A complete head-spin, unable to believe this was real. He could give me what Edward could. Passion. Love in its physical form.

He slid down my body, kissing my torso, and sliding my underwear down my body with his teeth. I sat up, removing his as he pushed me down on the bed, returning to his position. He kissed my lips again, passionately as he slid into my warm wetness. I gasped at the new sensation, tensing my entire body. He groaned, feeling me tighten even more around him.

He thrusted into me deep, but nice and slow. I slid my hands around him, digging my nails into his back. This only encouraged him. He went faster and harder, growling deeply. I knew he was enjoying it too. I threw my head back in ecstasy moaning louder. I rocked my hips up towards him, wanting more.

He held me down forcefully at the waist as he penetrated me harder and deeper, his hot breath blowing on my neck as he groaned in my ear. I felt the pleasure rising steadily in my loins. I was close. "Harder" I moaned as he pushed me to my limit.

I felt him twitch inside me, sending me over the edge. Waves of pleasure running through my entire body, head to toe with such intensity. I was screaming in pleasure as Jacob and I finished together.

He crashed onto his back, exhausted by the mass amount of effort he just displayed. He pulled me quickly into his arms, kissing my hair and my face repeatedly. "I love you, Bella Swan." "I love you, Jacob Black. That was…amazing…" He smiled, quite pleased with his efforts. Typical Jacob.

"You do realise you have to tell him, Bella…" I sighed, knowing that would be one of the hardest things I would ever do. "I know." For right now, I was just happy to be in Jacob's warm arms, and I had no plans to leave them any time soon.

.

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	9. Chapter 9

Me and Jake got in my truck with Jake driving. I couldn't manage a steering wheel with my shaking hands. I was nervous about seeing Edward and I knew with Jake with me, Edward would know every detail, but I couldn't bare it alone. Jake turned the key in the ignition, the truck roaring to life. As he pulled slowly out of the driveway, a horrible sinking feeling emerged in my stomach; like I was falling and there was nothing to grab onto to stop myself. There was no turning back now. Jake reached over to hold my hand on the centre console, his thumb smoothing across the edge of mine in an effort to comfort me and reassure me that what I was doing was the best thing to do. "He knows it's over, Bells. He knew the second you told him about our kiss." Jake spoke so nonchalantly about all of this, like it was confirmation of something that had already occurred.

I have never enjoyed seeing Edward in pain. I remembered when we stood before the Volturi, Edward experiencing wave after wave of pain. It probably hurt me more watching him go through that. He healed quickly back then, but I knew this would scar. I stared blankly out the window, watching the trees wiz passed, the forestation getting less and less dense as we progressed. I knew we were approaching the highway, just a short distance from the Cullen's house. My grip on Jake's hand grew tighter, my knuckles turning white under the strain. He squeezed back gently, reinforcing his support.

The brakes squeaked as Jake slowed to turn into my- the Cullen's- driveway. Panic took over as my heart began to beat at a dangerous rate, the palms of my hands becoming even slicker against Jake's palm. The truck puttered to a slow stop in front of the wooden decking that made up the front porch of the house. I was a beautiful house, and for a while, it was my home. I might never be back here again…

Alice approached us slowly, her eyes dull and lifeless. There was a world of pain in her heart, evident by the slow pace at which she slumped towards us. She was hurting. "Bella…" She spoke softly, as though my name were difficult to speak. "He's gone." "Gone where?" I asked, my hand breaking free of Jake's. "We don't know. He's wandering, not deciding on staying in a particular place so that I can't see him. He doesn't want to be found…" Her voice trailed off into a soft whisper. I wanted to speak, wanted to ask more questions, wanted to tell Alice how sorry I was for making him leave again…but nothing. I couldn't form words. I think my heart was breaking just as much as hers.

A warm tear slid slowly down my cheek, curling under my top lip as I began to quiver. Jake's warm hands smoothed over my waist, pulling me back into his embrace. I opened my mouth to speak, struggling to find just two simple words. "I…I can't…" I said, while turning to look at Jake. He looked worried, almost upset, but he released his arms from around me. I headed to my truck, trying to keep my composure. I didn't want Jake to know how much this hurt me. By the time I reached my truck, tears were flowing in a continuous stream down my sopping wet face. My vision was completely blurred. I sat in my truck, head on the steering wheel and sobbed. I saw Jake through my peripheral heading towards me, but he quickly changed course back to Alice. He knew I couldn't handle the whole "us" thing right now. It was strange. I had never really seen him and Alice speak before. And he was comforting her, rubbing a hand along her back slowly. He understood.

I composed myself and drove back to Charlie's. It was the only place that really still felt like home I guess. I turned my rear vision mirror to face me once I stopped. I checked my face, making sure it wasn't evident that I was just crying. I walked up the steps slowly, trying to force a realistic smile on my face. I knocked once before Charlie opened the door. "Bells! What are you doing here!" He asked. "Just coming to spend a couple of days with my dad…if that's okay with you…" "Of course it is kiddo. Come on in out of the cold."

We sat for a couple of hours, talking about everything and nothing at the same time. I tired quickly, wanting nothing more than to go to my old room and cry myself to sleep. I excused myself and slowly trudged up the stairs to my old room, full of so many memories of when I was 17 and madly in love with a vampire. When I wasn't confused, but happy. I didn't feel the same way anymore. Back then it was easy. I was in love with Edward and only Edward, believing entirely that I could never feel that strongly about another person. I sobbed and sobbed into my pillow, my hair wet and sticking to my face. I drifted slowly into sleep once I had tired myself out.

I was trapped in a dark, deep hole with no way out. Nothing around me but wall, confined in a small space. Light was above me. An exit. An escape route that I couldn't reach. Two hands appeared, one pale, sparkling in the light shining from the opening. The other dark and strong. Both trying to reach for me, trying to pull me out of the darkness, but both out of reach. The walls were closing in on me, closer and closer. I was screaming for help. Screaming for them to save me. I felt warmth brush my hand. It was Jacob reaching for me. The walls were closing in too fast. I couldn't get out.

"Bella, Bella, Bella, wake up, it's okay, I'm here." I sat up instantly, realising Jacob was lying beside me, stroking my hair. "Jacob…what are you doing here…?" I said, shocked. He looked at me seriously now, clutching the hand he held tighter. "I had to know you were okay. I know you're not…taking things well." I looked at him intently, trying to no to collapse into his arms and sulk. It felt inappropriate, like I was betraying Edward. "Bella…what did I do? Please…?" "Nothing! You did nothing wrong. It's me, all me. I promise…I…" "Shhh…just relax" He soothed my hysterics, pulling me closer to his warm body in a tight hug. He leant in to kiss me as I turned my head, placing it on his shoulder. "Just friends for now….please…" I said, pleading for some understanding. He didn't respond, still holding me close.

I went to see Alice the second I woke. She still had no idea where he was, and was worried sick. They all were. I managed my apology this time, trying to get them to understand that I didn't mean to make him leave. I didn't mean to hurt him. They were more understanding than I deserved, and it made me sick. I couldn't be with Edward and I couldn't be with Jacob. I had to be alone for a while. I moved all my old books, clothes and other belongings out of the Cullen's house and into Charlie's.

I spent about 5 weeks at Charlie's trying to think, to find a way of bringing Edward back home and keeping him a part of my life. And Jacob. I hadn't seen him in over a week, and I was beginning to feel as though he had given up on me. I don't blame him, but it was still killing me. It made me sick to my stomach, literally. I threw up most days and slept very little, constantly crying. I missed Edward. I missed Jake. I missed simplicity. I decided to throw myself into organising my room, sorting out book shelves and drawers of random items first. During my sorting I stumbled across a little black box. Tampons. I dropped the box back into the drawer and sat on the floor, shocked.

9 weeks. 9 weeks since my last period.


	10. Chapter 10

The vomiting, the strange appetite, the sleeping, emotions, the lack of period…I couldn't be…

I drove into Seattle, not wanting to run into anyone I knew when I was buying a pregnancy test. Small town. My mind was racing a mile a minute. I had only had sex once. Of course, we didn't use protection, but I didn't even think this could happen. Well, of course it could happen I guess…stupid, stupid Bella. Edward leaving was no longer on my mind for now.

I hadn't really ever thought about being a mother. Before Edward, I was too young to consider such things, with Edward, it wasn't possible…but I had thought about it with Jacob. When I was older, after college.

Oh God.

There they were.

Two pink lines.

I was pregnant.

I didn't know what to do. I couldn't tell Charlie, I didn't want Jake to find out and be scared off especially if I didn't know for sure, so I also couldn't tell any of the wolves…I knew where I had to go. I had to be checked out for sure. I pulled into the Cullen's driveway, nervous as anything. Esme was out the front gardening when I pulled in. She flew to me, immediately holding me in a strangely warm embrace, considering she was so cold. It was a much warmer reception that I anticipated or deserved. "Bella, what brings you here, love?" She asked in a friendly manner, slightly pained by seeing me. By being reminded that her son was gone. "I…I kind of need to speak to Carlisle…is he here…?" "He's up in his study. " She said smiling politely.

It felt odd just walking in. I felt like I was walking into someone else's home. Well, I guess it wasn't exactly my home anymore, but still. It was quiet. I was used to the sound of Emmett making jokes at my expense, Alice calling me to do my hair or make up, something. But there was no friendliness in the atmosphere. Everyone was upset with me, that much was obvious. I shifted passed the lounge room towards the study, trying to avoid the sad stares of my former brothers and sisters. There was the sadness again. Edward was no longer forgotten. I wiped away a tear and continued on to the study.

"Bella?" Carlisle asked with shock, surprised to see me. His eyes were warm, showing he still thought of me as his daughter. This was going to be hard…"Hi Carlisle..." "What brings you to me?" He asked while hugging me, a perplexed expression etched on his face. I sat in the seat across from him and began telling him about how Jacob and I had sex unprotected and how my period had gone AWOL. He didn't seem uncomfortable at all when I was absolutely mortified. It was a testament to his professionalism.

"Bella…" he began to speak after a brief silence filled with thought. "Werewolves are highly fertile. It is essential that they breed often in order to ensure the continuation of the gene. Not all descendants will get the gene, so the highly potent semen ensures a higher chance of perpetuation. It's very likely that you are in fact pregnant, but I think to be sure, you should have an ultrasound."

A lot of women describe the feeling of the ultrasound gel as cold and unpleasant. I guess I didn't notice considering my doctor's hands were literally as cold as ice. I was uncomfortable both physically and emotionally. I knew how this news would make the Cullen's feel. Especially Rosalie. She wanted so badly to be a mother. I looked over towards the same screen. It was hard to make out, but sure enough there it was. My baby. Jacob's baby. Jacob. Where was he? I knew I needed to tell him. Needed him here with me, but I had no idea where he was. He hadn't been to see me in days.

Carlisle suggested I come back to see him every now and then so he could check on me and the baby. I avoided looking at the rest of the Cullens as I left the house. I couldn't bear to see the pain on their faces. The pain I had caused. I hugged Esme goodbye and assured I would see her soon. Carlisle agreed not to tell the others why I went to see him just yet. At least not the real reason. I drove to the reservation, hoping someone knew where Jake was.

I arrived at Billy's, jumping out of my truck carefully. I knew Jake wasn't home straight away. He'd always be waiting for me out the front even if I turned up unexpected. He could hear the struggling sound of my truck's engine heading along the dirt trail through the woods. I stumbled disappointed up to the door and knocked. Billy greeted me, a sombre expression on his face. He wheeled his way to the lounge room without so much as a word, me in toe. I sat on the couch, not even needing to ask the question. "I don't know where he is, Bella. He took off over a week ago without letting anyone know where he was going. He hasn't phased, so the pack haven't heard from him either. He's driving somewhere. Possibly nowhere in particular." I had made Jake leave his family too…? I burst into tears, sobbing because I had done it again. Not only had Jake left me, he left his family, his pack, too. It was all my fault. "Oh Billy, I'm, so sorry. This is all my fault!" "Bella, this isn't your fault." "Yes it is!" I protested. "I told him I wanted to be friends for a while. I was upset about…Edward leaving and that must've hurt him." "He wasn't upset when he left, I know that much. I think he's just giving you your space. He'll be back. I know he will. He can't leave us or the pack." He was right. He had to be. I couldn't do this without Jake…I hugged Billy and went home. I was exhausted and needed some rest desperately.

I woke up vomiting again. One of the many perks of being pregnant. Luckily Charlie worked early and didn't notice. There was that word again. "pregnant" I don't think I'll ever get used to the idea. It had been 3 weeks since I saw Billy. No sign of Jake. He wasn't coming back, I was sure of it. The pain of this realisation was almost unbearable. It constantly felt as though someone was squeezing my heart, kicking me in the stomach…it hurt physically almost as much as it hurt emotionally. I had been numb for the past few weeks, only eating for my baby. I didn't want to eat. I didn't want to sleep. I didn't want anything but Jacob to come back. I planned on staying in bed all day crying, just like every other day. I wasn't strong enough for anything else. There was a knock at the door, but I ignored it. I knew it wouldn't be Jacob. I waited for them to go away, but they kept knocking again and again, forcing me out of bed. I didn't even bother to check my reflection before heading down the stairs. I didn't care if people knew what am emotional wreck I am. I stumbled down the stairs, losing my balance on multiple occasions. I was in no hurry to see this annoying person.

I made my way through the kitchen to the front door and yanked it open. Standing there in front of me was my husband. Edward was back. "Ed…Ed…Edward…" "Bella. I'm so sorry I hurt you…I didn't think you'd even realise I was gone…" I didn't respond, I leapt forward wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him. He released me to speak. "Perhaps we should take this conversation elsewhere. I don't think Charlie should listen in." "Oh, don't worry about it. Charlie isn't here. You can come in if you'd like." Edward looked confused, peering around me to look inside the house. "Then who is here…?" I didn't quite know what he was getting at. "Uhh, no one. Just you and me as far as I know…" "I can hear more than one heartb…" His eyes shot open in sudden realisation of whose heart that belonged to. It was my baby. Mine and Jacob's.

"What a minute…what?" I heard a low voice from around the corner say.

Jacob.

He appeared in front of me in seconds, looking confused. I forgot all about Edward's discovery and threw myself into Jacob's arms, his warmth spreading all over my body. He pulled me closer to him, rubbing his large warm hands all over my back. His hands slid down to my waist as he pulled away from me slightly.

"Jacob! Where did you go? Why did you leave me!" I asked not understanding. "I couldn't stand to see you hurting like that. I had to go and find him and bring him ba…" Jacob gestured to where Edward was standing only to notice we were alone. He had disappeared, obviously giving us some privacy after his realisation. He knew I needed to take to Jake privately.

Jake realised why Edward left and fell to his knees, placing his hands gently on my stomach, looking up at me for answers. I nodded slightly, afraid of his reaction. He looked at the small bump on my stomach, swirling his hands over it in amazement. He placed soft light kisses all over my belly. I sighed in relief, knowing Jacob was back and that I wouldn't be doing this on my own. He lifted himself up of the ground and pulled me back towards himself, locking my lips with his in a passionate and loving kiss.


End file.
